It's Just a Phase

Written by Perverse Psychology 

 Photograph by  Peter Forster

Photograph by Peter Forster

Her eyes unwillingly opened.

She knew it would be there, looming over her.  And it was!

Sleep seemed to be the only way she could escape its hold on her. Even then it sometimes managed to find a way to creep into her fantasies and ruin the mood.

For months she’d tried everything to shake off the heavy black cloud that had unexpectedly decided to cling to her. But it refused to leave.

Upon waking, her inner voice told her that she alone controls the way she feels, that the black cloud was merely a figment of her imagination and all she had to do to make it vanish was to think happy thoughts, smile, and to be grateful for all the wonderful things that filled her life.

All the wonderful things that filled her life?

A well paid job, a caring Husband, three healthy, mischievous children, a small but close group of friends, A decent house, holidays abroad at least once a year…..

She listed everything that should make her feel complete, content, and alive!

The corners of her mouth began to turn upwards. A glow started to develop inside, but fizzled and died before it could explode.

The heavy black cloud scowled at her, violently slapped her cheek and suffocated her body.

It sat there on top of her, sucking every ounce of energy, draining her emotions, and replacing them with toxic thoughts and destructive perceptions of herself.

She heard the morning chaos erupt in the other rooms as her husband tried to defuse the commotion. She heard him tell their three balls of frantic energy to calm down and keep quiet as Mummy was poorly and needed rest.

Her body ached to go in and help or to just join in and add to the mayhem like she used to. But no sooner as the thought sparked in her mind the heavy dark cloud spat violently in her face. A reminder that he was in charge and he decided how she should feel.

Her tablets lay next to her on her bedside table. She didn’t need them. She could defeat this on her own. It was just a phase. Everybody has spells when the heavy black cloud visits. . .

Don’t they?